That’s why i can never live with a roommate because i don’t want them messing up my mess. i consider myself a super organised messy person. 💁🏼♀️
Going back to reality n work is so hard after being a lazy potato during the holidays and not leaving my couch for days while my mum spoon feeds me like the princess that i am. now my boss wants me to be at work on time all 5 days of the week like why is this happening.... 🤷🏼♀️
I found this so funny that i walked into a pole while reading this. anyway, still pretty tho.
I feel like drinking is super fun until you hit 24 and your hangovers last for 4 days and you start going to sleep at 9pm and get excited when people cancel plans on you because ur so forking dead inside and ya that’s life so whoever wrote this text is obviously under 24. i’ll be like fook ya sober january let’s be weird cat/plant ladies instead. anyway happy monday everyone i guess...
Is adulthood just like a lot of alcohol and waiting for ur next paycheck so you can buy more alcohol and make terrible decisions? bc same.
It’s a known fact that women outlive men.. so make sure you find those ride or die betchez and never let them go. like me for example if anyone ever forking called me!!! helllllooooo it’s me...... 😒
You gotta take tequila the same way you take a new d, open wide and swallow that nasty nasty and pretend you’re not gonna regret it the next day.
I'm a needy gf but not needy like "buy me this buy me that" more like "call me, facetime me, text back fast, come over see me, give me all of ur attention, don’t have s*x with anyone else but me & love me... like forever” 💖
The only exercise i do is run away from emotionally available men but also i masturbated a lot during the holidays to keep off all those carbs anyway just a few vibrators left on my site!! go get them before it’s sold out. hurryyy link in bio. 🤪💖
I feel like everyone’s getting married and pregnant and i’m over here dodging emotionally available men for guys who won’t even pay for my uber home smh
Nothing ruins my mood faster than slow walkers, long lines and traffic!!! today was one of those days where i just wanted to go back to bed but then this made me smile. i love old people and animals so much 😭😭
Ya s*x is cool but have you ever had 73 breadsticks and a chocolate cake at 2am in ur bed and woke up hungover with crumbs and chocolate all over you and thought that you accidentally s**t yourself? because same!
Im hiring! 😍 looking for a new intern, personal assistant, and blog contributors. go to my insta story for details to apply for the current open positions. 💋
“you look mean” that’s because i am, bai.