I just want to lay in a bed with 300 puppies while that one guy who flirted with me 4 months ago at target scratches my head and feeds me chocolate. i also want my ex’s new gf to rub my feet and tell me i’m pretty that’s all 😭😭😭
The hormone surge right before your period is so random. your back ache, your nipples tingle and tell you when it rains... you be wanting a whole cake with a side of dick. what a grand time to be a girl.
Or am i gonna wake up on my couch with a horrible headache and netflix still on asking me if i’m still watching..?? 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
Whenever i wanna stay in, everyone hits me up to hang but whenever i’m ready to finally go all out do lines off a stripper and b**g my friend’s dad suddenly everyone’s too busy and can’t hang. ughhhh
Pls don’t think ur special, i literally hit on anyone when i drink. last time i was so d***k i thought the 75 yr uber driver had a sparkle in his eye.
Important things i google at 3am..... i never stop trying to learn. i’m educated like that.
I open a bottle of wine nowadays when the slightest inconvenience happens in my life so pretty much every night because i’m an adult and i can. ps. wine headaches r da worst tho w*f
I can’t wait to be a mother because i’ll know every shady trick in the book like when my daughter will try to go study at her bff’s house at 9pm i’ll be like nah becky i know ur going to s**k d**k ur staying home watching ur sister because it’s mummy’s turn tonight with daddy.